A Rant about movies

Ok so this was going to be a small aside at the beginning of a review but I decided it needed a bit more.

So here’s the deal I started watching Ninja on netflix and a little wile in I had the sudden urge to watch The Last Dragon a movie from 1985 that I only remember a few scenes from but somehow it popped into my head at that moment. Thinking, “that movie must be on netflix” I stopped the movie I was watching to start the new one that was in my mind. Low and behold the movie is only available on Dvd through the mail. Well at least I can watch it I figure. But I want to watch it now (first world problem, I know) so I check Hulu, no dice. I see amazon sells it for $10 streaming but not on amazon prime. I can also get the DVD for $10 in the same amount of time to get the Dvd from netflix so that’s another no go. Finally I see its on Crackle.com but there are more adds than if it played on network television. WTF! why the hell isn’t this not very stellar movie available through some streaming service add free. You can not tell me the studios are making much if any cash off movies like this. So end of story is I pirated the dang thing so I can watch it tonight. I can understand some catalog titles being held off of streaming services because they are still bankable. But dammit everything else that is over 10 years old should be legally obtainable without adds streaming somewhere. Preferably the services that are already established and I subscribe to.

Ok I’m done

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John Waters: This Filthy World (2006)

“All young people need to have someone bad to look up to, and I hope to be that one tonight”

Comedy is very subjective that’s why I don’t touch it much in reviews. For example I think LisaLampanelli  and Dane Cook are awful and extremely unfunny. Yet I like Larry the cable guy and Louis CK which couldn’t be further apart comedicly speaking. But I had to comment on this. John Waters is great.one of my all time favorites. I have his Christmas album, seen almost all his movies, read and watched every interview I can find. So yea I am a bit biased. This isn’t really standup comedy. Its more like someone just talking about the absurd things in their life. And it is hilarious. All the talks about Divine. The things he has seen everything its just great.

That is all. I have no more to say. You knew already if you will like this or not.

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BKO: Bangkok Knockout (2010)

This is a tournament style martial arts movie. Think Bloodsport or Mortal Kombat and you’ll get the basics. What little story in place is only there to showcase the martial arts action. And that is perfectly fine. The fights are quick and really fun to watch with quite a few different martial art styles. Any of the people that speak English are awful, cant act and are really annoying. Well actually its all badly acted but the people speaking English are especial bad. But you don’t really watch this kind movie for acting. There is even a crazy Jason Voorhees ripoff. This was good but it’s kind of forgettable.

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Kung Fu Dunk (2008)

This is a silly movie along the same lines as Shaolin Soccer. It has kung fu action basketball fights and a very thin plot. the actors kinda stink but you cant be expecting high drama from something like this. It’s really fun to watch. The high point was the fight scene in the nightclub. very entertaining and quite over the top.

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The Prisoner [or: Island of Fire] (1990)

First off, I watched this on Netflix and I have to say this is by far the worst looking movie I’ve seen yet. The film stock looks like it was drug through the mud. The Colors are all wrong, everything is blurry and way to dark. Doesn’t make the movie unwatchable it’s just kind of annoying. Not a knock on Netflix mind you. it’s probably just the transfer. Just kind of sucks.

The subtitles on this are shit. There are times when nothing has been said for minutes yet the words keep going on the screen. And then there are others where way to much is said for just a yes or no response.

On to the actual movie. If you can get past the technical flaws it’s a pretty entertaining movie. Tony Leung Ka Fai  is a cop undercover in prison, Sammo Hung is a guy that just wants to break out to see his son and Jackie Chan is a guy thrown in prison while trying to get money to save his girlfriend. there are a few good fight scenes but this isn’t really a Jackie Chan movie he’s mostly a secondary character. there are better movies out there though so unless you like the actors it can be skipped.

Best line in the movie. “You’re a guy that can fart, but doesn’t have the shit to back it up ” probably not translated right but I thought it was great.

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Quick Reviews

Movies I’ve watched recently but don’t really have too horribly much to say about

Inside Deep Throat (2005) – Interesting documentary but only if your into porn history

Dragon Hunters (2008) – Great animated movie. loved the character and dragon designs.

36th Chamber of Shaolin (1978) – one of the best kung fu movies ever

Metropolis Complete (1927) – one of my favorite silent films. and its even better now that its nearly in its complete form. definitely worth watching if not only for historical reference.

Time Bandits (1981) – I remember this being better, had a lot of slow kinda boring parts but still quite funny at times

Sherlock Jr. (1924) – first Buster Keaton movies I’ve watched. going to watch more. This was great. very funny.

King Boxer [or: Five Fingers of Death] (1972) – another kung fu classic.

 

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What’s Up, Tiger Lily? (1966)

so for the longest time I’ve been avoiding watching any Woddy Allen movies. no real reason for it. Ive just seen snippets here and there and never thought them compelling enough to look into further. but since I always hear and read people thinking he is some sort of great writer director I figured I should give him a chance. So, I started at the beginning…

Probably not the best idea. I didn’t make it all the way through this without getting bored out of my mind. I tried, I really did. even went back later and trued to watch the rest of it but it was too damn boring. The premise sounded like something I should like. A redub of a foreign movie is the type of stuff I’m into. Kung Pow Enter the Fist is a movie that is funny as heck to me (if you discount the parts they added and only look at the redubbed parts) but this just drug on and on.

I’ll give Allen a few more chances before I say its not my type of thing but its not off to a good start. Any suggestions of what to watch would be appreciated.

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